It’s crazy to think that I have been in Costa Rica for nearly a month.
Despite what is visible on my Instagram, living life abroad is not all sunshine and beach landscapes.
Living abroad is a serious challenge in ANY country, let alone a country with a language barrier.
I am not on vacation. I commute for an hour across the city by bus to go to work every day and am expected to produce top quality content in another language that I’m still learning. When my day is done, I get back on the bus and do the commute over again, this time with traffic.
This 9-5 lifestyle is enough to exhaust anyone, anywhere in the world. Factor in a language barrier and you have a recipe for a serious challenge.
I’m constantly hungry, I am totally mentally depleted by 8:30 p.m. and I am usually in bed by 9:00p.m.
This challenge is important, in fact, I crave it.
During the year of 2018, I felt like I was coasting through my life, working easy jobs to make easy money, taking classes that were too easy for me, pursuing an easy degree in order to live a life of comfort.
That wasn’t what I wanted.
I know that by challenging myself this way here and now, I will learn, grow, and improve infinitely more than if I was sitting – unengaged – in a classroom.
This life experience is shaping me into a better woman, a better human, a better communicator, and a better worker.
I am happy to put in the effort it takes to grow.
It’s hard work, but it’s worth it.
The ocean is calling, and I’ve been listening.
Every weekend since arriving in Costa Rica, I’ve been going to the sea.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been drawn to the ocean.
Certain places bring people a sense of profound peace. For some people, it’s the mountains, for others the forests, some people even feel that way about certain cities.
When you are not there, your heart yearns for that place again; almost like a deep hunger – but for a location.
For me, that’s the sea.
Especially in Costa Rica, where the mountains and the ocean meet directly, it’s nearly impossible not to feel a deep sense of connectivity. A feeling. A hum. A vibration deep inside your body, reminding you that you too are made of carbon, water, and oxygen.
My days on the beach have been characterized by the sun, surf, and lots of delicious local fish, and awe-inspiring sunsets.
It’s funny, how when life around you is finally quiet, realize how loud your thoughts become.
Doubts, insecurities, flaws, anxieties…
They can seem louder than ever, despite the peace that took so much work to create.
I am often hyper-aware the creeping fear of failure and of disappointing the ones that I love and who have supported me over all these years. What if Costa Rica wasn’t the right place for me? What is all of this is a huge mistake? What if I should have stayed in grad school?
I’ve had to isolate these thoughts, worries, and insecurities. Where do they come from? What is their source? Are they based on things I can control or things I cannot control?
It takes time, but I know I need to sort through these emotions in order to gain mental clarity and be more connected to my goals and my ultimate purpose.
I know that if I “fail” (or whatever “fail means anyway,”) I will still be moving forward on my journey. I know that as long as I am a good person, and am working to make the world a better place, the people I love will always be proud of me.
Some moments I’m the most confident girl in the world, other moments I’m looking in the mirror, wondering what the f@#k I’m doing.
It’s all about balance, I suppose.
But every day I get more and more confident on this journey that I’m taking.
I’m looking forward to sharing more
I feel so compelled to share the adventure and the process with you all.
Now that I’ve gotten more stable in my work and living routine here in Costa Rica, I have a lot more content I’m looking forward to sharing.
There are so many inspiring things about travel, that go so far beyond the beyond the beauty of planet Earth. When you travel, you discover the beauty of people, of connection, of new perspectives, of new loves, new talents, new passions, flavors, trials, challenges, hardships, and of course adventure.
Thanks for coming along on this journey with me. I’m excited to see where it will lead me.
Want to read more?
Check out some of my recent posts!
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- 10 Ways to Battle Quarantine Blues
- The secret behind ‘living your best life,’
- Costa Rica; the journey begins.
- Why I’m leaving grad school and moving to…