It’s been a while.
It’s been a while since I’ve picked up my computer.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt the least bit inspired.
It’s difficult to put these past couple of years into words. It felt like I was on autopilot, one day stretching into the next.
Headline after headline being published about rising infection and death rates eventually turned into a low droning, a dull hum in my ears that I could almost ignore. As quarantine stretched, months turned into years, and the years just kept on coming.
The remainder of my young twenties; the time when I was supposed to be enjoying the fruits of my post graduat-ism, navigating through life as a budding adult, and exploring what true independence means; was spent locked away inside of my house, wondering what will become of the world as I know it.
I think a lot of us can relate to this.
So much pain, in such a short time.
So much suffering that seems to go on with no end.
What world were we born into?
If you even so much as glance at the news these days, it seems that tensions are only continuing to grow. Has it always been this way? Is the cotton being pulled from my eyes? Am I seeing things, as they are, for the very first time?
I felt so disillusioned.
So frustrated.
So alone.
Heartbroken.
More and more of my loved ones began to pass away.
Family.
Friends.
Children.
Losses that cut so deep, I am still in the process of dealing with the grief that they left behind.
How can you deal with loss when you can’t have a gathering of over 10 people? What do you say in response to the death of a perfectly healthy 20-something-year-old who suddenly collapses?
How do we move on? What are we moving to? Where do I go from here?
I hope I’m not the only one that’s been feeling this way. If you are reading this and this resonates, just know that I see you and I am with you.
So, now what?
Despite the loss, I can feel a change in the wind. As the seasons move from winter to spring, I too can feel something inside of me shifting.
Dethawing.
Pushing its way up towards the light.
As the number of fully vaccinated people continues to rise, I can feel the world peek out from under its turtle shell. I think, dare I say, everything is beginning to be… normal again?
I feel inclined to share. To reconnect. To put time back into the things that I love, that grow my mind, make me stronger, and fuel my body.
I’ve started writing again.
Singing.
Painting.
Running.
Swimming.
Taking photos and making videos.
I feel like I’m coming out of hibernation.
Coming home to myself.
And I want to share it.
I want to share the journey with whoever wants to follow along. This is a strange and beautiful life that we lead. Perfect and painful. Injust and poetic. Short yet so, so sweet.
And I want to share it.
All of it.
The good, the bad, the ugly pieces in between.
I have been working on my health, and have embarked on a ‘fitness journey’, (as I’m sure many people who suffered from the “quarantine 15” can relate to), that I have been incessantly bothering my friends about.
I have been pouring more of myself into my art and am hoping to start a full-blown collection (let’s see how that goes).
I have been dedicating more time to travel – one of my greatest passions – and am so excited to share.
I’m excited to share all of it.
I hope you come along for the ride.
XOXO -Deia
Sunshine Chronicles 