You’re not perfect. And that’s okay.
I feel like throughout the majority of my childhood and teenage life, I was constantly trying to be perfect.
Have the perfect grades
The perfect body
The prefect response
Handle all stressful situations perfectly
Buy the perfect dress
Be the perfect daughter.
This list can go on forever.
I don’t want to let anyone down, never want to disappoint anyone, and find myself feeling stretched between my responsibilities, what I want to do, and what other people needed me from me.
I get so mad at myself whenever I make mistakes, or when I’m not able to live up to the expectations that I’ve set for myself.
Any kind of imperfection used to be unacceptable to me. I would insist on ironing it out, especially when it came to imperfections on the face the public would see.
Make-up, the Instagram filters, digital retouch, the “proper selfie lighting”… All of it was essential, and all of it needs to be done perfectly on cue, when it was needed, effortlessly, all the time.
The pressure is always on.
I think it’s been a vicious cycle of my “ideal perceived self” not matching up with my actual self.
Which leaves me feeling confused, disappointed, and ashamed.
Ashamed of what?
I don’t even know anymore.
I’ve been to relearning how to look at myself as a work in progress; a progression, instead of a finished, packaged product.
A younger, much unhappier, me would focus a lot of my time upset at myself for not being the happiest, beautiful tumblr girl, and wondering what I was doing wrong.
But I’m not doing anything wrong.
Actually, none of us are doing anything wrong.
We’re all doing just fine.
I think it’s important for us to keep that in mind.
What does ‘perfect’ even mean anyway?
Webster’s Dictionary has about 8 different definitions for the word, “perfect”, the one that caught my attention was:
perfect: corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept
And ideal standard…
An abstract concept…
So.. perfect doesn’t really exists, does it?
No… I don’t think it does.
I think perfection is an ideal that humans made up along the way; a goal, something to strive for. A socially constructed ideal to sell products or to influence consumers to think they need something.
I need to constantly remind myself that no one is, nor ever will be perfect. That my life is not a competition with the girls on television commercials, or a requirement to live without flaws.
I think it’s important that every day, we focus on being the best we can be… Bringing out the qualities that we like most in ourselves and learning to improve those qualities that we don’t. The best us, we can be.
And that is all.
Not better than him, not better than her, not comparing ourselves to the images and the achievements of others.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not perfect.
I’m never going to be perfect.
Perfect is a lie…
The ancient Greek word, or at least the closest translation, is “teleos”, and was originally used to describe the end result, or the completed product of something. The “perfect dinner” or “perfect song”, or something along those lines.
The world eventually morphed into the roman “perfecio” that was later referenced in the Bible, and used as a term to refer to the work of god.
Now before you get all excited here folks, I’m not saying that god is a lie, I’m saying that our perpetual stride towards perfection, is actually supposed to be a step towards our personal spirituality.
“Perfect”, has never been about being better than anyone else, or not making any mistakes, “perfect” is about finding the things inside of yourself, that make you feel complete.
So this is just a reminder to myself that I don’t have to be perfect, actually.
Just the fact that we are living, breathing human beings makes us perfect.
Everything after that is a technicality.
Perfection is not the standard.
Perfection is something to strive towards, while keeping in mind that we will never truly achieve it.
As long as we do our best to be our best everyday, focus on growing, and creating the world we want to see; that’s better than perfect.